Receiving & Giving

I’ve been in deep enquiry recently, holding the question of ‘what is to really receive?’  

I’ve often struggled to receive gifts; I deflect compliments; I worry about how I’m going to repay favours; I can mistrust simple acts of kindness. In friendship, intimacy and money I have ways of avoiding receiving, however subtle. Of course if I can’t receive freely, how can I possibly give freely?

Having recently qualified in breathwork I’d like to share a simple idea with those of you who resonate with what I am saying. We can begin to practise receiving life, with that which is freely given, where there is no hint of a transaction and no need of control.  Our breath, our most intimate, available and loyal companion, is our guide. 

Most of us, for most of the time, breathe involuntarily and unconsciously. It just happens without us realising. We are, in effect, ‘being breathed’; we are not in control. So much so that if we were to try to stop breathing and did so to the extent that we passed out, the breath would jump in and breathe us once more, without our voluntary consent. Such is the impulse for life we have imbedded within us all. 

However, the breath is one of the few functions we have (swallowing and blinking are other examples) which is both voluntary and involuntary. This makes it an extraordinary tool with which we can explore our potential and find immediate doorways into flow and presence.

When we bring conscious awareness to our breath, we often talk about ‘TAKING a breath’. But who is taking the breath? The ego, the one who thinks they are in control.

If we consciously RECEIVE the breath, however, we invite an entirely different orientation; we surrender to our ‘being breathed’. 

This takes practise, of course, but the rewards are immediate and profound. When we allow ourselves to be guided by the breath and the deeper intelligence from which it comes, we begin to respond to life in a spontaneous, open and coherent way. When we get out of the way and watch what happens all by itself, we realise that each breath we take is unique and because we are receiving it and not taking it, each breath is a gift. 

This Earth Day weekend it’s worth recognising that we live in a society that seems to be in a constant state of hyperventilation. We take from the land with an insatiable appetite. We lack resilience because we have forgotten how to receive. 

So perhaps this entirely different orientation to breathing can extend to our relationship with life itself. Just as our breath doesn’t belong to us, nor does the land. It would be more fitting to say that we belong to them. Whether it’s food, the suns rays, a passing shower or a beautiful view, we can savour and appreciate that which is given as a gift. In doing so we honour the giver the gift of giving, which is also the gift of receiving. At a deeper level there is no giver and receiver, the circle completes, and gratitude and love is what remains.